There was this kind of person I wanted, I created in my head, someone that didn’t exist. Then there was this person, a real person, I didn’t really want because of his ways, in ways I could not trust being with. I was certainly drawn to him in way I can not explain. I put all that aside and risked what possibly could be the best thing I could have right now. I kind of feel like hes been keeping me hidden, thats exactly what my dad did with his affair with now wife. I dont like it, I dont want to be the other chick, the side chick. I’ve been showing him off to people, and sometimes get the sense that he’s the scared one, and he doesnt want anybody to tell him anything and he says that he “knows” im the one who doesnt want to hear shit from anyone but I can take care of anything that comes my way its no big deal! Just like I know he can.
All I wanted was to just reassure him I have nothing to hide from anyone that he is just it! and close the doors with all the boys that kept trying to knock my door down.
And I dont know what to make out of this all this. I try to see it in a different perspective as if this was happeing to a friend of mine but I can not make anything out of it. Im scared to diagnose the situation. And I tell myself im just a young girl and he must see it that way. I can’t say he doesnt like me like he did at the beginning but I want to believe he does, I will just make myself believe he does for now.